Over the years many people have come up with original and sometimes stupid ways to name their newborns. A few years back some guy in Oregon (or somewhere in the NW) convinced his wife to name their son “version 2.0” instead of Jr. While my idea isn’t quite as stupid as that, it’s still pretty foolish. So without further ado here is my idea for naming our child.

The day he/she is born Kate and I will assess our baby's appearance and produce a nickname middle name instead of a traditional middle name. I’ll use myself as an example. When I was born I was very skinny. I could have been named Marc “Bones” Marseglia. Or Kate could have been named Katie “Porkchop” McClintock. (That’s not a mis-print, Kate’s name on her birth certificate is actually Katie). This nickname middle name doesn’t have to in regard to the baby’s appearance either. If it’s a girl the baby will probably take after her mother in certain areas. So how about naming her Sophia “Shop girl” Marseglia, Claire “Crazy Legs” Marseglia, or Maggie “Stinky Feet” Marseglia? And if the baby is a boy how about Lucas “Beer Goggles” Marseglia? Other good names include Jackson “Five” Marseglia and Alexander “The Great” Marseglia. My only obstacle is convincing Kate that this is a good idea.

You're going to put quotes on a birth certificate? Can you do that?

I don't see Katie going along with this one at all. Beer Goggles.