I work a couple nights a week managing a pizza shop. Well, my boss’ wife gave birth Tuesday morning at 12:10am to their third child and their first boy. They have far better patience then I do because they waited until the birth to find out the sex. They were both really hoping for a boy. They even went as far as decorating the baby’s room for a boy. My boss was even on record as having said he was going to get REALLY drunk if it was another girl. His daughters are a handful and the thought of adding another girl to the mix was frightening. They both admitted it. They named him Antonio Sebastian Cottone. They are Italian Italians, not American Italians. Needless to say I am extremely happy for both of them. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone as relieved as my boss was yesterday. But the arrival of a boy after having two girls has me thinking of my situation.

Before we were even married I informed my wonderful wife that if our first two children were girls that we were stopping there. I even went as far as saying if and when we got to two girls, no matter what we hope to have (4-5), we were done. Well, in light of my boss’ success in passing his family name (he only has two sisters) I have decided to rethink those comments. So I did and I decided I'm absolutely sticking to them! Two and we’re done! I really want anywhere from 3-5 kids, finances permitting. But if the second one is a girl like the first then the buck stops there. It’s not that I’m going to love them any less or that I think they’re inferior to boys. It’s just that I’m looking at it over the short term AND the long term. What if we have three or four girls? I see that as not just having 3 or 4 little girls who adore there dad when they’re younger but I see 3 or 4 teenage girls who hate their dad because they’re moody and he won’t let them do what they want. I see picking up the tab for 3 or 4 weddings! I see a Friday night when up to four Marseglia girls are going out on dates with horny guys like I was! Horny guys who have hands with minds of their own. Typing this out is giving me a damn ulcer.

The bottom line is that for my long term health, and financial well being, I can’t have more then two girls. And if my two daughters read this some day, I love you both and I wouldn’t trade you two for anything in the whole wide world. And if my three or four daughters read this some day, your dad’s an idiot!

an idiot with a gambling problem, as higgins would say.